31 Comments

  1. Stanhope is the EXACT reason I don't try the shit. I come from a long line of schizophrenics and alcoholics. I drink a lot. I tried schrooms and LSD 7 times between the two. I think I lucked out with 2 months of panic attacks that apparently reoccur every few years. (I can't blame that on them either, I had panic attacks when I was 13 and realized I was becoming an adult. Fucking pubes lol. (not jewish……and the fucked up thing was I had mustache issues before the pubes….in my head that didn't count as aging, pubes did)

    Couldn't talk to anyone about it either…..because even at that age I knew it was stupid. I didn't realize that anxiety and weird ass panic attacks can hit out of the blue seemingly at random. I'm 43 now. Had one last year where a nurse where I work begged to take be to a doctor "just to make sure". I was totally normal even before we left work, but it freaked everyone out and fucked with my claim of "never getting sick" and "never calling into work claiming to be sick". I still went back to work, I just hate that people found out I was human. I've known it forever, just never wanted others to see it.

    Edit: I cannot explain a panic attack properly and I don't think anyone truly can. In MY experience it's almost as if the imagination takes a worry and runs with it, amplifies it and runs with it again until that's all you can focus on. I've had it in another direction as well where something similar to past experiences immediately kicks my brain into that mode. I can be completely calm or even loving a high pressure situation. My brain occasionally goes off the rails. I don't have solutions. I have my solutions but I don't know if me even explaining them would help. Everyone has to kind of have their own.

    Oddly laying down works for me a lot of times and then I just kind of pass out. (which is also counter-intuitive because a lot of my anxiety comes from going to sleep lol)

    If you read this, sorry. I'm really glad Joe didn't kill Stanhope. Can you imagine what would have happened had that happened? Wow.

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