47 Comments

  1. Left: Believe what I tell you to believe because I told you to believe it. That I just made this ridiculous social policy up out of thin air 10 minutes ago is not important.
    Right: No.
    Left: Yes.
    Right: No.
    Left: Yes.
    Right: You're a parasite, ya know that?
    Twitter: Hello User Right, we have suspended your account for hateful conduct and general violation of our policy against harassment. You may appeal this decision, but there's very little chance your submission even ends up in our inbox, let alone us actually spending even 3 seconds evaluating our own shameless enforcement of Nanny State policy. But go ahead and try. The fact that your career as a front-facing person may be compromised by the possibility of our having already shadowbanned you months ago is now, stunningly – a superfluous concern. But even if you comply with our "click-n-guilt" struggle session protocol, our algorithim is still gonna be all over you no matter how out of context it's sterile evaluation of your tweets might seem. Have a nice day.
    Right: Eff this.
    Left: Hey, did you see the Right won't even come on Twitter anymore? They're afraid to even debate us.
    Center: I heard the Right got banned. The evidence is all over YouTube.
    Left: Hey look, everyone…We got ourselves a right-wing conspiracy theorist!
    Center: You're a parasite, ya know that?
    Twitter: Hello User Center, we have suspended…

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