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  1. ▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ If I were Bill Clinton, 42nd president of the United States of America, I would thank former Vice-President Al Gore for developing the internet so that I could listen to the Cheek Clappers Podcast █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▂ ▁

  2. The entire modern day genetic pool for men is literally: 1: Hippie who is always looking to show off his Fushigi skills 2: Dude who comically floats in the air towards any pie in a windowsill 3: Gym bro who uses experimental Russian steroids that causes him to lactate, and then sells his breast milk online to the highest bidder 4: Normal guy but he has a foot fetish and listens to the Cheek Clappers Podcast 5: Guy who owns three acres of undeveloped land in North Dakota "just in case"

  3. Σ SIGMA MALE DAY PLAN Σ ⏰ 2:00 am- wake up, take 50mg adderall. ⏰ 2.05am- cold shower followed by ice bath. ⏰ 2.15am- breakfast: almond and breast milk bought off Facebook. ⏰ 2:30am- begin 2 hour intensive workout regime with no rests between sets or pre-warmups. ⏰ 4:30am- edging, 3 hrs (for discipline). NO porn. ONLY Cheek Clappers Podcast clips found on Youtube. ⏰ 7:30am- begin sprint to work. ⏰ 8:00am- arrive at work ⏰ 8:05am- get called into boss' office ⏰ 8:06am- get fired from job for ''repeated inappropriate quotes from Cheek Clappers Podcast'' and ''predatory behavior'' ⏰ 8:10am-sprint back home ⏰ 8:40am- lunch-raw cod with berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderall. ⏰ 9:00am-edging, 4 hrs (as punishment). ⏰ 1:00pm- bedtime

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